Thrice-a-nomad

While working on this website, which by the way if you hadn’t noticed by now, Is still under construction. I don’t know what the ‘eff I am doing. I’ve had fits of rage accompanied by ugly crying, paired the finest bottle of doubt and despair. I called my daughter. I had just lost the entire website that I had been working on for over a week. I was beside myself.  I  believed that I am too stupid to do this. I really wanted to give up. I listened to her tell me about the Universes plan for me, how to manifest what I want, she told me that I should be grateful- I quickly interrupted her and gave her my best impression of her teenage self. I screamed at her. ‘You don’t understand, I lost everything!!!’ then I hung up on her.  My how the roles have reversed.

What finally opened my eyes and led me to this moment you ask?  Well I had just relocated to a new State after accepting a dream position, no call, no weekends, no nights and so on. But as the months went by, my bosses had changed their tune. Nights, weekends, cover shifts and maintain all of the responsibilities of the Supervisor position for which I was hired. Not only was I devastated by the news, I had spent over $12,000.00 to relocate to that State! Thats a shit ton of money to me. Hard earned money, three jobs money! As they were telling me I had no choice and I have to be a team player, “it is what it is”, so on etcetera I said no, (In my mind at least.) I spent the weekend pondering my situation and life in general. That following Monday morning I logged into my work computer and wrote my resignation letter. It is not, what it is..not this time.

Last night I was watching the Mark Twain Prize Awards on Netflix, honoring Dave Chapelle. I don’t really like award shows but, Mark Twain and Dave Chappelle are in my mind at least, both GOATS when expounding on human complexities and conditions of their eras. They both recognize that you cannot endure all of the hardships, hardballs, and struggles without the comedy and satire that they and others like them provide, that you, I and others provide daily. We humans need to know that we are in this mess together. Social media alone is proof of this.

One of the Comedians, honoring Dave was Aziz Ansari, he told a story about being on tour with Dave, subsequently he found out that Dave was going to receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, the very next day.

After their comedy set was finished Dave asked Aziz what the rest of his night looked like and if he might want to do some psychedelic mushrooms with him. Anziz replied that he was, “going to get a goods night rest, take it easy.”  Dave asked Aziz to envision his future older self talking with his children.

‘What are you going to tell them about this night? Dave asked him. Are you going to tell them I was there on the night Dave Chappelle won the Mark Twain award, we ate mushrooms together, and we had the night of our lives? Or are you gonna tell them that you got some sleep.’

Aziz said, ‘Dave you got a point, let’s eat those mushrooms.’  Im tired of getting a goods night rest, sleepwalking through the days. its time for me to take a bite out of the mushroom of life.