1. Just go with it. Um yeah okayyy…
Well, since I quit my job I have been learning to just go with it, even though I am the last person in the world that is comfortable doing that, unless I have plan B, C,D as a backup. For the first month I was so anxious, I literally was on edge, I felt like I was breaking the law by not working. I literally told my best friend and my kids that I was becoming paranoid that the police would come to my door and demand to know why I was not at work! I still get a smidge of WTF am I doing here and there, but otherwise I have enjoyed all of the small things in life with greater intensity than before. We place so much value on working, titles, achievements and education, we get so caught up in the need to succeed or even just to survive to pay rent, either way we miss out on living and nothing is more clear to me now than that.
2. l met my Granddaughter.
My granddaughter was born during the Pandemic, so I had never met her. I decided that before I embark on this Journey that I needed to meet her and also check in with daughter #1 and my grandboyzzz, Also I got to meet my soon to be Son in law. I have to say that little girl was a cute, funny, unintelligible little spitfire, with the patience as thin a as piece of paper. She is the youngest person in the house, but she rules over them with a plastic spoon in one hand and a tippy cup in the other. It was a little surreal to see her because she looks almost exactly like her mother, her hair fell the same way after activity, she stood the same way as my daughter, she’s tall like my daughter. She was absolutely adorable. The high decibel, mind bending, and ear piercing toddler howls, not so adorable. I had so much happiness meeting her, playing with her easter eggs over and over again, and rocking out in the kitchen with her.
3. My Boyzzz are like trees.
My Grand boys are sooooo tall! Two of them are over 6ft and are not even 18 yet, I visited with all three together and one at a time, and I have to say they are well mannered, witty, respectful, funny and seem to have a healthy view of the unhealthy world that they were born into. It’s not easy being a kid, especially a teenager, one foot in childhood the other foot testing the waters of adulthood. All three of my boyzzz helped their Nana watch all the MARVELS in order. I have a new respect for Iron Man, I learned all of the backstories of each character. I have to say it was whole other level of education I never knew that I needed. It was extra special when one of the boyzzz faced time me from his friends house to have me meet them and find out what Avengers I was now watching, my other one called from his job at Mr. Bojangles to remind me which one I needed watch next, and the youngest Grand boy hanging out with his Nana giving me insightful information, and spoilers. I know that the road has not been an easy one for my daughter, (parenthood is never the easy road), but she should be proud, she has a beautiful family and she did a great job as a parent.
4. My Daughter #1
My daughter, what can I say? We don’t speak sometimes for months, we play phone tag a lot, then just give up, but that does not mean we don’t love each other. My daughter is quiet, private, and is very laid back. My daughter is so quiet that I sometimes have to lipread to understand what she is saying. Years ago I flew out to her State to rent a van and take the boyzzz on a roadtrip across the USA, anyway one day I was laying on the couch watching TV when all of a sudden her boys came running out of their rooms as if the house were on fire, I was like WTF is happening?! My daughter had called them and I never even heard her, but the boyzzz in their rooms, loudly playing games did hear her, that was pretty amazing to witness. I have never seen my daughter yell at her kids, and yet, she gets her message across loud and clear. I tell my daughter that I am proud of her, I want her to know that, and I hope that she believes it, because it’s true. As I said being a parent is not an easy road to walk but she has done it with grace, dignity and with a quiet strength that is all her own.
5. I Met the Son In Law
What can I say about this guy? He is amazing at the grill, he is polite, generous and attentive, I’m sure he has his faults, we all do, but I see a lot of green flags with him, he is a great father to my granddaughter, he is a good Step-parent to the boyzzz. I will take that a step further to say that he has been more of a father to the boyzzz than their own. Let me repeat.. I’m sure he has faults but…as far as faults go, his don’t add up too badly. (then again I don’t live with him either.) Anyway, I like him, the boys like him and I have to tell you, when it comes to their mom, they never liked any man for her. He’s a good guy and I can see that he loves my daughter, he loves their family together.
6. So Now Im Back Home
I received a letter from the job I quit, telling me that I owe them 15,000.00 for a sign on bonus and travel reimbursement, what a fucking joke, I travelled 2,706 miles to take this job, lived in an Air BNB ‘Box’ for two months, found an apartment paid, more for rent on it than I did for my own mortgage and then quit my job wholly because of the hostile and toxic work environment and to protect me, my license and my sanity. So will it hurt? Yes very much so, and since this bullshit is a thing I can’t get out of it, I must pay. It also means that in order to take this Journey I must now sell my car and I am grateful that I have one to sell, not happy about it, but grateful all the same.
7. Anyways…
I still have things to get rid of and donate, I have cleaning to do, last minute things to make sure of and this computer to sell, hopefully I will be able to do so easily on Offer Up, by the way I like Offer Up it’s easy to use. Some people are straight up assholes, I’m like how do you even live with yourself, I was raised underprivileged as fuck and never would I talk like these motherfathers think they can talk to me, I will donate a $4,000 dresser before I sell it to your self entitled fucking rude ass, now politely fuck off. Anyways that is exactly what Im going to do is Donate it and my beautiful ball root chair.
8. Now I must see Daughter #2
I will go and see her and her kiddos on Aug 4th after that I have to high tail it out of here and begin my Journey I will keep my one reader posted, and cross my fingers for more of you. I will not be visiting my Son, because we just spent the last two years living with each other so I feel caught up enough with him, and we do talk at least every other day, so I hope his feeling are not hurt but its all about the girls this time. By the way the boyzzz never taught me TikTok, and I never took them to the movies so I guess we’re even on that score. Maybe Daughter #2 kids can teach me the TikTok. So I’m going to pay the $15,000.00 and take daughter #2 advice and proceed as if I have all the wealth to spend and manifest that riches will come in a downpour, and since riches may not be in the form of money I just have to be open and ready to receive whatever form my riches come in.